The Hunt

It was a sunny, mild afternoon. Michael was in his new ship and was racing his best friend Callum. Blitz Berg was the best racing arena and was always free. Blitz Berg is just outside our city. The sky was cloudless, other than the ones gathered at the top of the mountain, and Cactrycius’, our planet’s, third sun was burning bright. It was around 13 o’clock in the morning. The best time to race.

There was a fresh summer breeze that blew in through the windpipes at the back of the ship. I always love it when a fresh breeze blows into my ship. The wind smells like pasta due to the natural chemicals in the environment. As I flew around in my ship I kept thinking about how much fun entering the actual race track is and Blitz Bergs size. From the outside of the arena you can’t really appreciate or notice how big the track really is, but the racers in the arena know otherwise. To enter the race you fly your ship up to the top of Mount Kasik, there you find the docking pad. Before every race even just a friendly race we have for fun our ships are completely checked for any malfunctions that occur in any form. Up at the dock while we wait for the all clear, the only thing visible is the opposite ships lights. The clouds are so thick, our wipers have to be on maximum speed to get rid of the water that condenses on our wind shields.

Once the regulator checks we are okay to race our ships are locked into the Catapult. The Catapult is what we call this convoy. Suddenly the convoy activates and our ships start to move down the edge of the mountain. We break through the clouds and can suddenly see most of Miakny. Miakny is the name of the city we live in. In the centre the biggest tower on this side of the galaxy. It is so tall my ship would run out of fuel by the time we reached a quarter of the way. As we go down the side of the mountain the convoy speeds up until we almost reach the speed of sound. The convoy then began to seem like what the ancients used to have. They called them Roller-coasters. At that point we were about to be launched so, the officiator shut down our power source so that we couldn’t turn on our ships. Using a private radio line all the racers, Me and Callum, here the countdown. Three. Two. Race! And our ships were launched into the Blitz Berg arena.

The second we come three feet close to the ground our ships are activated and we begin to hover. Callum and I had no intention to race properly, as friends this is what we share. We both love to fly our ships. Even though we entered like we were in a real race we actually just like the atmosphere. Blitz Berg is our sanctuary or relation and fun. Although flying our ships wasn’t the only reason we liked to come here. The arena itself was fun. Blitz Berg is commonly known as The Track of Thrills and Trickery. Why? Well for starters, the lush green grass below us was actually partially grass. In some areas there were real grass but the rest was all holographic. Now racing above the hologram was fun but what is underneath it, that’s a whole new level of excitement. There we traps and tests. Trials and Tribulations. Only professional racers were permitted below there Callum and I couldn’t even think about it, but we watched people down there before.

There are so many great experiences to be had here. Cactrycius is an amazing planet with amazing scenery. The scenery is actually why my parents moved here we used to live on Cibertron. Dad used to do business here all the time but it was when Callum and I were four years old that our mothers took us here on a summer holiday when they decided Cactrycius was a better home than Cibertron. Cibertron is an engine planet. All there is over there is scrap metal and burning coal. Often the occasional thieves would come and steal our fridge and melt it for money. Whereas here everyone is friendly and when I look around and see the bluest of seas and the tallest mountain, where we were just at, with just the right amount of snow on the peaks. I don’t see factories and import cargo ships carrying coal. Sunset, that’s when they are most beautiful and amazing my mum always says to me. One day I will hike to the very top on my own feet, you know when I’m bored and have no ship.

I was daydreaming until I heard Callum. “Mike this place is sick.” Apparently Mike was supposed to be my name but the guy that wrote it down on my birth certificate made a mistake and called me Michael. Now only my close friends or my relatives can call me Mikes. Really and truly its just my family and Cal, that call me Mikes. Besides Callum gave me that nickname in the Infantry and that was when that’s where the story of Mikes and Cal all kicked off. That’s where we met and I’ll never forget the sanitized smell of the main infantry. That was why it was my favourite place to visit. Sometimes, in our spare time, we would volunteer to help out in the infantry purely because of memories and that everlasting scent of happiness. When we were around 11, we went through the stage where boys stare at girls and girls stare at boys. I found myself in the Infantry’s lobby a lot because Callum had a crush on this girl. Her name was Stephanie. She was a fairly tall girl a bit taller than me. She war the newest Cyber Tech glasses. She was a tanned girl just like Callum and I. There are three suns after all. She had smooth, fast flowing blonde hair with brunette roots. Originally I liked her but for Cal, I subsided my feelings until I found another cut girl, witch I did. So I acted as his wingman and the results were unfortunate for him. Stephanie actually liked me instead of him. It was then he lost most of his confidence, it scared him for life. I really hope he can gain his confidence again. I know what you’re thinking. What did I do? It was all my fault and I am the worst wingman or friend in the history of life in all of the 61 worlds that were pushed into the Milky Way. I’d just like to say, I turned down our date and ended the to be relationship, all for my friend. Which I believe is the very action that makes me a great friend.

“I know right. Cal, why is this place always empty? There are hundreds of racers on Cactrycius. Why does no one else use this arena?” Callum was a lot more knowledgeable than me, but was too modest and shy to share his knowledge, so that’s why I ask him for a lot of answers and for a lot of advice. After all, I’m the only one he speaks to other than his family.

“Its cus of the intense arena traps. Mainly the asteroids. Apparently they are dangerous and strong enough to end the life of the very best racers in all of Cactrycius. Whatever you do, try to avoid setting them off.” He said it with the most modest yet scared and frightened face ever. I’ve always felt like he was my brother so to see him like that doesn’t make me happy at all.

“They’re that bad. Wow. Lets try them, you know if you want to?” Callum was always a little bit timid, I can’t say the same for me, I’ve been told I’m a little reckless, but that is why we are such friends I guess. Its a great balance to have we rely on each other. Rumour has it I destroyed the town hall in 3 minutes, but who can be certain. The area in Blitz berg was amazing. It was always green with a few totem poles. The Totem poles were scattered all over the tack. Apparently they were there when Cactrycius was discovered and who built them has always been a mystery. When the ancients found this planet and pushed it into our gravitation orbit, there was no one on the planet just strange actions.

“Oh no, no, no, no definitely not. I don’t feel like dying today Madam Poof warned me that you’ll get me killed before I reach 18. I bet that you wouldn’t and want to live to collect my prize from Poof. Of course you would know that if you stayed in her class.” Callum and I were teenagers. I was born in September 3402 whereas he was born in October 3402. That makes us 13 as its December 3415. On Cactrycius, the way the curriculum worked was that from the age of 3 to 8 you had to learn every subject including rocket science. I remember I was in the History Department at ‘Bright Kids Primary School’ there was a man I remembered from Cibertron. He was a Galaxy known Historian. He lived on Earth for 26 years until he retired and decided to help children instead of continuing his research. He told me in our 5 years of school we were as intelligent as the ancients after 3 years at any university. After those five years you need to chose your future occupation. The choices ranged from cleaning space to the army. Callum and I had a similar interest. We both wanted to be war pilots like my Dad. So that meant we to take a six year course with Poof. She was, unfortunately, Miaknies only flighty instructor.

“Poof hated me. So I left and taught myself. Saved my family some money which got us these Ships and Licenses. It was the right decision, as in look at how good of a pilot I am now.” I said whilst turning up the volume on my transmitter. The ships we were in are no where close to a state of the art, professional ship and therefore a couple of modifications.

“Modesty was always your strong point,” Callum said with the most sarcastic face ever. “Besides that is all your fault. You destroyed seven of her favourite ships.” I sighed and looked over at Callum, only to find him smirking at the memory. Suddenly there was a loud green flash and asteroids started flowing into the arena. We started looping and spiralling around each other. We were flying comfortably until the asteroids started speeding up. We were flying at an incredible speed. A loud bang sounded in my ears, I looked over at Cm who was wearing soundproof headphones. We levelled out only to see an asteroid in the form of our death. It was an enormous rock. Thallue master of all space asteroids and it was about to destroy my bones and crush us both. Asteroids as big as Thallue are all named and in our solar system there is quite a few. Thalleus is the biggest of them all and it just happened to come drifting through a space warp time portal.

“Mikes, pull up.”

“No Cal, there is no point at this stage. We had a good run. ”

“Mikes if we don’t make this I just want to say sorry for getting us into this and that I broke Poofs seventh ship” I looked at him with a lot of shock. The asteroid grows continuously as it comes closer to us. In Cactrycius flyers are trained as boys to prepare for space missions and death. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I continued the bound collision course until yet again another loud sound occurred. I opened my eyes and saw my ship flying parallel to Callum’s through a barrage of small asteroid rocks that were once apart of the biggest ever. After passing through all of the rocks we simultaneously saw a fleet of Jingle-ton, Dingle berries. A species of squirrel men that live in their space ships in colony sizes, with their guns facing us.

In front of us was the biggest ever fleet of ships. There at least a dozen dozen ships in the sky. They all had camouflage tiles which was why we couldn’t see them at first. Their ships were the palest shade of grey ever. They each had around 100 boarding platforms. I received a radio message from Dingle the leader of the Jingle-ton, Dingle berries clan.

“Prepare to be boarded and searched. Any hostility will not be taken lightly and we will destroy you but hospitality will be noticed. Fling-flang-mooley.” The line was cut and the mother ship moved closer towards us and was extending breech arms. Callum was tidying up his ships. So I thought why not do the same.

“What a day almost died and met Dingle.” I said with a cheeky grin.

“This isn’t good for my health Mikes.” Callum said with faint nausea.

“Lighten up Cal, you sound like one of the elders. Besides what is  the worst that could happen.”

It seems I had spoken a tiny bit to soon. We found ourselves as working slaves for two hours until Dingle demanded an audience with us. We were clothed in the skin of the Great Greens. Great Greens are an extinct species. They would be challenged to find. Once found then the hunter would skin them alive and finally kill them. It was a sign of great strength, skill and intelligence. Something to be proud of but for me I hated the whole idea. This challenge is the reason I ran away and disowned my uncle. He was the man that killed the last two Great Greens and ended a whole species.

The guards came and removed us from our cells I turned to Callum who was completely scared and tried my best to reassure him. “Cal there is absolutely no need for you to worry about anything. Back then in the arena when we were about to get destroyed by the enormous space rock, you said something. You said ‘Pull up’. In the face of potential death you tried to save me and you know I always return the favour. There is absolutely nothing that can separate us.”

“Thanks Mikes, I completely, 99%, might just believe that you’ll get us out of this.” We smiled at each other then we were tugged by the fused rat intestines and rope handcuffs. Inside the ship was incredibly different. It was colourful and colourful has the festival that the ancients had. It was called Divali. Since the war in 2100 no-one came out to celebrate. There was a gobsmacking amount of colours. Every where there were pictures of Dingle. They varied from him on his throne, at a feast or at war. The floor was covered in the skin of the discovered Saber-Tooth Tigers and Dribble Bears.

We had reached doors big enough for a thousand racing ships to enter all standing vertically on top of each other. The doors opened after a blinding light we entered. There were a few dozen armed soldiers and an enormous crowd of people staring at us as we walked down the isle. The whole room was pure gold from Thrithia and chrome plated. The was a thrown hidden by a dark veil. Shells sounded, the veil was removed and there he was Dingle sitting on his thrown. “Michael and Callum welcome to my humble audience Its a pleasure to have two Cactrycians in our presence.”

“How do you know our names and where were from?” I interrupted him to ask.

“Well ~ Mikes ~ I intercepted the radio frequency you were sharing with Callum. You see we’ve been watching you all day and you had no idea. May I add I’m quite impressed with both of you. Callum your intelligence is superior.  Knowing that you were about to hit the speed of sound henceforth you put on soundproof protection.” That’s what that sound was. It was a sonic boom. I heard they only occur when the sound barrier is breached. My train of thought was interrupted with the applauding of the crowd for Callum. I looked at him and saw a sight I was hoping to see. The faint sign of a grin. I started to clap for him until Dingle continued to speak.

“Pipe down, where was I, oh yes you Michael, your flight skills and endurance are amazing. You skilfully dodged the asteroids without colliding with Callum. Additionally, normally when fledglings like you breach the sound barrier they go death or even die from the sound waves rushing their ears. It barely even fazed you. Also your evaluation and maturity levels are quite high. Back when you were facing the asteroid Callum told you to pull up. However you refused, you said there was no point you wouldn’t have made it and you were right. Also when you were a meter or so away from it you embraced the fact your were going to die. That shows maturity therefore I am proud. I’m officially volunteering you to do the hunt. Take them back to their cells and prepare them for flight.” We were pulled away and returned to our cells.

“Mikes what was he talking about?” Callum asked eagerly.

“Cal, I have absolutely no idea. Don’t worry we’ll get through this together. Their coming quiet.” I said quietly. In a rush we hustled to our beds. Two guards came one with the keys and the other with two velvet black leather clothing that covered everywhere on our bodies except the head. Though it did come with a hood. We got dressed and then we were taken back to outside. To our surprise there was a velvet black racing and travelling ship combined that matched our clothes. Men were loading the ship with our belongings and other cargo. I think it was food. Dingle came out and smiled at us.

“What have you volunteered us to do?” I asked him immediately as I pushed Callum behind me in a protective stance.

“Well Mikes, Its a bounty hunt. There is a man on a planet at these coordinates. I want you to find him and bring him back. With or without a body. He goes by the name of Zeesh or the nightmare whisperer.” Dingle replied.

“And if we refuse?” I asked.

“Well you don’t.”  He said so confidently.

“But if I do?” I assured him. Then suddenly every guard lifted there plasma pistols or aura automatic machine guns.

“Simple, you die.” Dingle said with out any sign of hesitation. I took the coordinates from his hand. He walked away. Two guards approached us. They handed us each a plasma pistol and aura automatic sub-machine gun. They told me in my ear that there was more and a supply of ammo on board. I turned to Callum and saw him holding his weapons.

“Don’t worry you won’t have to use them.” We walked on board and prepared to take off. We set a course to the coordinates. As the thrusts began and coolers activated the landing dock equipment were grabbed by a mechanical arm. We were being held back by someone or something. I looked around only to see my dad using a long metal hook to keep the ship at bay. Dingles army was ready to fire and the civilians scattered at the mere sight of him. Hope had returned to us. We sprang to action quicker than a leopard after its prey. I shut down the engines so quickly it looked like I had been a clueless gamer button mashing in a game of Fifa 1416.

The door to the ship opened as Callum and I sprinted into my dads arms as he held them out with the biggest smile on his face. The last time I saw my dad was when both Callums’ family and my family went to visit the planet Thrithia. He’s quite a busy man, you know considering he is the man who saved the human race by single handily defeating an army of Cre aliens that were intruding Earth. Due to this act of heroism he was granted an alien liquid, called Enducicum. Enducicum made him immortal and he hasn’t aged. Over the years he has made friends and enemies. Dingle. Dingle was an enemy.

“What do you think your doing?” bellowed the loud deep voice that was my father as he looked at Dingle. “This is my child and his friend and if you thought you could get away with sending them to their deaths you were wrong. Force them into this and I personally promises all the hairs on your head, I will kill you.”

“Calm down Malcolm. I wouldn’t do that?” Dingle replied with the cheekiest grin.

“You must honestly take me for a fool. I’ve been alive for 1400 years, I discovered your species and you think of me as if I were dirt on your shoe.” Dad stormed of being immortal hasn’t done his temper any favors. He walked to the ship and pried of the wall of the ship. He leaped in and rummaged around until suddenly he walked out. He come walking out with four guns in his hand. They were the guns that we were given to use.

” I know exactly what you were planning to do and its not going to happen.” He dropped three of the weapons and aimed the last one at Dingles head. Dingles army ran into formation and all aimed at my father. Of course this was all a waste of time as the only thing that can  kill Malcolm is liquefied silver.

“Hang on a second,” Callum said “How did you know what are mission was to be?” Cal asked

“Yes Malcolm,  how exactly did you know?” Dingle added

“Well, I was hoping you would ask. Its quite ironic actually I ave you a dose of your own medicine. The galaxy defenders have installed camouflage panels and have been watching you from when I discovered you planet in 3006. To really rub the salt in the wound we hacked your communications set and have been listening to you.” I expected nothing less from my Dad he is a legend. He knows every trick in the book, there is no fooling him. One time I wanted to go to a film past curfew and he was waiting outside the theater only to take me home.

“You see Malcolm, here is what I don’t understand, you know I want them to get Zeesh. Who has easily avoided the army for centuries but you don’t want to send to individual undercover part time agents.” Dingle argued.

“Believe it or not but you are not the only reason I came here. I was looking for Michael and Callum to ask if they wanted to do this. Not abduct them and force them to, because at you rightfully said they both have unique skills and together are quite a duo. So Callum are you up for this?” Dad asked.

“I’m in, if Michael is in.”Callum answered

“You know I’m in.” As I gave a small nod to certify what dominance I had.

“Great then its decided. Tomorrow your training begins.”

 

6 Comments

  1. Good effort here Michael, you’ve developed some interesting characters using a range of techniques and built up a solid storyline.

    At the beginning, try and focus on creating an image for the reader through use of description. Focus first on describing the setting of your story. Make sure that your reader can see the place the race is happening in their heads.

    Try not to use too many events in your story and avoid listing things that have happened. This will take away from the reader’s immersion in the world you have created.

    Keep up the good work.

  2. Excellent use of neologism to help build up your sci-fi world Michael, good response to your feedback.

    In order to achieve your Genre Writing badge, improve this draft based on the following targets:

    1) Try not to rely on dialogue between the characters so much. Think about which parts you could cut out and what other ways you could develop the story without using so much speech.

    2) If speech is truly necessary then use adverbs to give the reader a hint about how the dialogue is being conducted.

    3) Can you build up to your main events in a bit more depth with some of the tension techniques we discussed in class.

    I look forward to seeing the next draft.

  3. Good response to feedback here Michael, well done. Now you need to justify why you should get the Genre Writing Badge.

    • Here are the reasons for why I believe that I have earned the badge.
      Firstly, my story is consistently written in the Sci – Fi story and that’s the first target in the badge and my story exceeds 600 words by a couple of thousand words.

      Secondly, I have used a variety of language features typically used in the genre of Science Fiction such as Neologism.

      My story is written in the present tense and is in the 1st person throughout the entire story.

      • To continue my stories character’s and setting are all developed well and adjusted to fit the genre Science Fiction.
        There a little to none spelling mistakes in my work.
        The changes in tense in my story are deliberate as I use them to add to the story as displayed in the beginning of my story.

      • All of my sentences are structured properly and correctly.
        Lastly, the punctuation is used well and consistently.

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